Paris Helped Me Figure Out Fashion

Fashion has been an important facet in my life ever since I could hold a pencil and scribble on the dining table. During my time in Paris, the city known for well-dressed people buying groceries in their Chanel loafers, in elegantly layered coats and coiffed hair, I was constantly intimidated by everything my gaze fell upon. I was coming from the equator; I had no idea what coats and shoes to wear when, and with what bag. I barely wore anything apart from t-shirts and shorts in Singapore and didn't know any better in Paris. Yes, I was studying fashion, but I had no sense of style. At. All. But that did not stop me from loving fashion, as it drew me in and I learnt it had magical powers when it came to my self-esteem and mental well-being.

It was as if I could conjure up confidence in an outfit, wear a good mood as easily as slipping on my gloves, and look past my insecurities as I put on my darkest sunglasses and stepped out into the sun. I can't help but scoff at my dramatisation of what fashion did for me - maybe because we've been taught at such a young age that fashion has no intellectual value, but that in no way diminished my feelings for this intangible entity. I did enjoy window shopping more than actual shopping because I never knew what to buy because of my incompetence in knowing how to put together an outfit, but that's when Paris taught me a few tricks.

Every morning, as I got into the metro, I would simply glance over to the passengers around me. I saw some with bright red nails as they typed away at their phones, burying their faces in their Burberry check scarves, some with worn-out Dr Martens and fishnet tights under their ripped jeans. It was refreshing to see men dress so crisp, as one paired a casual white shirt with an excellent military jacket with burnished hardware, topped off with polished brown oxfords. I wasn't trying to copy their styles, but at least determine a starting point where I can start looking for mine.

I saw how my friends at school dressed, went shopping with them and saw how they subconsciously reasoned what they picked out. While I kept an eye on their shopping baskets, I also noticed how they were very unapologetic about their style when it came to their body shapes. No matter how many magazines might "strongly advise against" wearing horizontal stripes or crop tops on those on the curvy side, that didn't stop young, confident women to wear as they pleased and look damn good doing it. This attitude helped me wear clothes I genuinely felt good in, putting all the voices in my head saying I shouldn't on mute. I started to find myself through fashion, as a byproduct of dressing better.

I loved running my hand through racks of velvet skirts or faux fur jackets but I always felt there was something not so fulfilling when I swiped my card at the cashier. It wasn't that I didn't care to participate in fashion, but it felt everything was still floating at the surface, and I wasn't digging deep enough. While my insecurities did fade, they did not disappear. Wearing trendy clothes did not change any aspect of myself, only momentarily blinded me from it.

However, I am grateful it blinded me from my reality for those short moments. It gave me the confidence to get back on my feet long enough before I could look past the materialism and find this sense of fulfilment I was looking for. What I thought were magical powers, were illusions of consumerism, so I needed to find where the real magic in fashion was. Fashion wasn't this 'frivolous waste of time' as hinted by many in my family and surroundings, not at all. I saw it as a force of nature; energy that existed as long as human desire, innovation, history, culture, and individualism existed.

Fashion is an impetus, and it is used for more than self-expression; it is a vehicle of change. Fashion captures the creativity, technology, economic progress and various other socio-political ideologies of our society, and reflects it back in a tangible form of threads woven into the clothing on our backs. I don't believe fashion to be an art form, because it is not just beautiful but powerful. It is constantly challenging the objectivity of function with the subjectivity of desire. We don't use clothing to only protect our bodies; we use them as psychological shields, where different clothing play different roles in our battles against society. The shoes on your feet have to be as durable as much as it serves your aesthetic requirements - that's the true balance.

My first epiphany about fashion was when I realised it is something no one can escape, from children to seniors, nudists to ignorants, and everyone else in the spectrum. Even if we don't understand fashion or knowingly subscribe to it, the way we choose to express ourselves is exactly the point where fashion manifests. While I don't think fashion is art per se, I think it's a business, because at the end of the day it is a product with purpose - regardless of what yours is.

Fashion is an industry behemoth, providing countless opportunities for employment, and makes the world a little more connected knowing that the fibres of your garment are cultivated and harvested in Ecuador, weaved into fabric in Myanmar, stitched and assembled in Los Angeles, while you are buying and wearing them in Singapore. As an average joe, you might not know a lot about what goes on behind the glittering displays and hefty price tags, but fashion is not a one-man job. Fashion weaves together the lives of scientists, engineers, business persons, economists, agriculturists, farmers, and far more identities than we realise. Everyone plays a part to keep the ship afloat.

Now, back to my quest to find meaning within the narrow stone streets of Paris, I start to realise that if I were to pursue fashion, I have to contextualise within this generation's (and the future's) needs. It doesn't make any more sense to recreate designs from my favourite designers from twenty years ago than design in a bubble, without considering the impact it has on the world. If power suits existed in the 80s to empower women challenging the patriarchal understructure of the workplace, then we have to address today's predicaments in the most appropriate manner. And we can start doing that by identifying what these predicaments are.

From Maria Grazia Chiuri's political message tees at her Dior debut to an RCA student refusing to produce a collection for her final year project as a protest against overconsumption, we see a shift in ideologies from the established conventions. Fashion proves again it is capable of being a platform for activism, sustainability, innovation, while still looking fabulous. It is not simply influencing culture and history, it is writing it as it happens. Clothing, in its multiple dimensions, is able to make political statements before you even open your mouth. Even within various forms of media, clothing can personify distinct characters, and tell different stories to a range of audiences. This is what I meant by fashion is magical - it can say so much without having a mouth, create such a lasting impact even in its ephemeral state.

As I think back to why I wanted to step into the (not-so) glamorous world of fashion, I imagine I didn't have the same reasons I have now. I didn't have the slightest idea of how complex the cogs in the fashion machine were, or what they were capable of. In Paris, I defined fashion by the patent leather boots and the 'it' bags I saw, not realising they represented more than what was on the surface. Now, I realise how much of reality I overlooked while I was consumed in looking for what fashion was. Paris showed me how much I've learned in the process of seeing fashion from a conventional sense to a reasonable one. As cliched as it sounds, I do have fashion to thank for urging me to explore Paris, and I have Paris to thank for helping me see what fashion's capabilities are.